Soho Secret Tea Room

This is a really sweet idea, badly executed. I wanted to love this visit.

The tea room is tucked above a secret stairway in The Coach and Horses pub in Soho. After navigating our way through an intimidatingly dark and windy set of stairs, Bridget and I found ourselves in a room decorated in twee vintage fashion, with beautiful jazz audio streaming from a gramophone in the corner. Although having been told a booking was not necessary, our hostess advised all tables were full.

Two large glasses of wine at a nearby establishment later, and I received a call to tell us a table for two was now ready.

Our hostess greeted us presented in what would be thought typical 40s style; a full skirted pink polka dotted dress, dark hair rolled tightly at the back; and a bold red lip to compliment full but impeccably groomed eyebrows, and an otherwise pale face. Beautiful, however she seemed distracted as she hurried us to a corner table; and we waited around 10 minutes for our menus.

Looking around the room I could see that overall the décor was lovely – beautifully mismatched vintage crockery adorning the surrounding tables, to compliment white or checked tablecloths and beautiful flower arrangements. It was then that our table seemed lacking. No vase of flowers and in fact no table cloth. Still, I was in good company and after perusing the menu to select treats, this was soon forgotten.

After having selected a pot of rosebud tea each, and a selection of cupcakes, we were disappointed to learn that none of our sweet treat choices were currently available. We instead ordered a plain vanilla cupcake each, as well as a slice each of carrot and lemon cake to share.

Now, pouring tea is usually a relatively simple task. However as one of the rosebuds in the tea pot got caught in the spout during pouring, poor Bridget received a scalded thigh. The next dampener to the experience were very dry nature of both the cupcakes and the lemon cake. The beautifully moist carrot cake partially rectifying this.

Bridget and I then both experienced bouts of food poising in the following 24 hours.

Now, if this were Sydney where places of this nature are fewer and farther between; I could see myself giving the venue a second chance. Provided I had a booked table of course to ensure the venue had adequate time a prepare. However, this is London and there are as many tea venues as there are frowning faces in the winter, so I’ll give this place a wide birth.